When you decide to die, little things begin to happen. You stop looking both ways before you cross the street, you start answering the door without asking who's there. You don't hold onto the railing when you go down the escalator, you play with matches. You smoke, and breathe it in, actually praying it will make a difference. Deciding to die is actually almost nice, in a way. You stop caring. Even if you are not pro-actively looking for ways to kill yourself, you stop looking for ways to survive.
“We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.” —(via lasestrellas)